Over the past couple of years, there have been a slew (a cornucopia, even) of instances where acts and comments made in youth have affected politicians, celebrities and others negatively as adults.

Here’s the thing with this (and with most things in the US right now) – life, absolutely, isn’t black and white. And to be honest, I thought we all used to know that.

Most people, in a vacuum of reflecting on their own life, would answer that actions of youth and naivety shouldn’t be punishable as an adult who has had the opportunity to learn and grow and find their system of truth. I’d agree with that 100%. For the record, I am not talking about criminal activity or the like. 

The flip side of that is that we are ABSOLUTELY allowed to look at such action and say that action is reprehensible and repulsive, and it can affect our view of a person contemporarily.

So here’s the rub… 

The argument shouldn’t be: That behavior was done while being a kid and just being silly (you little silly goose!).

Quite the contrary; that’s NOT silly and it’s NOT just being a kid (this is especially true in the case of prominent politicians in blackface). Not in 1984 and not today.

And the argument also shouldn’t be that there is NO WAY that he is not still a racist in 2019 if he did that in 1984.

For the record, I thought that smoking clove cigarettes at parties was more ‘Christian’ than actually having a beer – does that mean I’m still a douchebag today? Don’t answer that.  (I fully realize that’s not the same thing, just an illustration of personal review)

So here’s what this means to me: we, as a culture, have COMPLETELY lost the idea of discernment in any way. The idea that a person can grow and mature from the ideals and beliefs of a young person, even so far as to have a totally new set of values in their life is somehow completely lost right now (Or at least I don’t see folks using that approach when judging very, very, very, very quickly the next clearly black or white thing to hit our news feed – just like life, right?)

But anyway, that’s just the thing – those changes and maturities DO happen, and it happens ALL. THE. TIME.

I say all of this not because we should be quick to forgive someone who was blatantly racist in Medical School – but as an illustration of what seems to be happening in all corners of our culture.

Now, we’ve honestly come to a place where party lines are more important than the human race. Party before grace, empathy, patience, and listening. And I’ll tell you before you go there…. there is NO party that stands for any of those.

To be clear: I am not talking about centrism or anything like that – I am talking about looking at a human being, in any form, and seeing them as a human being – capable of, just maybe, adjusting from a belief system you HATE to one that you see as honorable and just. Or capable of showing or receiving grace despite an obvious disposition with your beliefs. This idea isn’t passive, it’s far from it. It’s the most active form of coexistence and community. It’s active because today’s society and the pressures of those who believe similar to you tell you that acknowledging the person behind the opposite message is weak. I say that’s bullshit.

To further add to me being dumbfounded, we celebrate this kind of thing all the time. Christians are passionate about people ‘turning their life around’ with Christ. We celebrate (and watch a lot of reality TV shows) when a young man or woman decides to leave one of the more restrictive religions to find their “freedom” with their new found belief system.

But that guy commenting on that post you read? The Senator? The celeb? No way – scum of the earth – that’s an easy call.

I honestly feel that – influenced by probably 800 things – people react first with “I KNEW it! – This means I am right!” more than any other reaction to external shit right now.

The sad part is that the believed ‘truths’ that are proven correct through constant sound bites and anecdotes, are often very extreme in nature and also leave you feeling “enlightened” because what you thought was right. It’s dangerous. Examples of extremes that make me cringe:

If you voted for Trump, you’re a racist.

"You calling me a racist?" - Your Grandpa

The US should legalize medical marijuana – it has so many benefits!

...except for that's never been proven via actual medical study

Gun ownership is instrumental to the American fabric, it’s not a gun issue!

A tank, just a big car. No reason that shouldn't be road worthy!

So, in this Virginia case, you have to ask yourself – was there anything about this man that made you pause before you were aware of the photo/admission? If not, then I could certainly understand, without an ounce of racism in your heart, feeling that this man has matured from very poor choices as a young man. However, if you already had reason to pause, then this finding becomes a building block in negative opinion of the man. And here’s the craziest part – coming to either conclusion is A-OK  (or, at least, it should be).

And if you’re the kind of person who thinks: “He’s a white man from Virginia! Of COURSE, he’s a racist!”…. Then I hope this little blog post has opened you up a just little bit.

Anywho… I don’t get why it HAS to be yes or no, black or white. That’s not how life works.

One more analogy because I am an old man and I like analogies…

Imagine walking into a library full of the greatest books. Rows and rows and rows of thought-provoking literature waiting for you.

The librarian approaches and says “You looking for a short book or a long book?” To which you reply, confused by the question, “Long, I guess, I am going on vacation and I want to avoid having to talk to people on the airplane, hehe!” She doesn’t laugh.

The cranky old Librarian looks at you flatly and says “Long books are on this side – don’t cross over to the short book side of the library under any circumstances. If you do, don’t think that you’re leaving this building with thoughts from all over the DAMN universe – it’s long or it’s short. It’s simple – don’t screw it up.”

That’s how I feel every single day.

(Societal/party/political pressures are the librarian in the story, for those that are still thinking about which book type that they’d pick)

So, it brings me to my conclusion and an invitation…

Discernment is my word of the year. And I’d like to invite it to be yours, as well. After all, you already stopped going to the gym so let’s just drop the #gethealthy cover and you’ve had the same hair cut since 2008, is it really a #newyearnewyou?

So, what does this mean for me:

I want to have enough patience and grace that I can take in a multitude of information, evaluate empathetically and discern the human element in front of me.

Find the truth vs. be told the ‘truth’

Maybe society will continue to disappoint me, or maybe I’ll find peace in the process because there is still a whole lot more soul left than the R’s and D’s want you to think.

Anyhow – long post,

G

 

BONUS For those who read to the end: Baby Brown #2 is due in May – we just forgot to tell everyone.

 

 

 

Comment #1: Great Post, Good Luck in 2019. Also… TL;DR ya asshole!