This year, I celebrated Father’s Day (my 4th FD) in a different way. As it happened, Lindsey and I also needed to celebrate our 10th (!!) wedding anniversary so we spent the weekend together without kids. It was really special for us, but it also offered some time of reflection for me – as a dad, a man, a husband, a friend, and a United States citizen.

I think as a part of this, I have some new truths for me, and getting to that point has been one where I have mostly been quiet.

So now – I want to pose a question that I don’t know the answer to – but it’s been troubling me for some time.

Why do American’s think that empathetic compromise means that our foundation for truth is under attack?

Let’s look at this from both sides – as best we can.

First of all Black Lives Matter. I have needed to say that for some time. They matter because we have a system that was built without the foresight to see how America would grow and change. That system is unquestionably in favor of the white man over all others and unquestionably has served to keep the status quo for much of Black America. It’s also a system rooted in good intentions, I believe that. And good intentions can still exist in a way that hurts Black America. We HAVE to find a way to listen with open hearts, look within ourselves, and react in a way that is bold. The boldness should be in the form of institutional shifts in how we look at Black people across the board as well as within each of us and how we choose to react the next time we’re faced with racism, no matter how subtle.

Saying all of that does not mean:

• Black men and women are not capable of bettering their own lives – they need help
  • The American Way knows no color and there are millions of stories to prove that, right? We like to put the onus on the Black community for not pulling themselves out of the mired challenges they face. People even go so far as to point to black-on-black crime as a “reason” that we don’t have a systematic issue with how we’re policing the African American community. We see one story of success and assume that can and should be the norm if people just gave enough of a shit. But that’s at the root of the issue. The work I had to do and have to do on a daily basis to be given the respect of peers, strangers, cops, teachers, bosses, etc. is nothing compared to that of my Black counterparts. I say all this because I am, for some reason, very sensitive to those African Americans who have overcome the burdens placed upon them to be pillars of the community. I don’t want the movement to undercut the enormous effort that took as I am coming to know the daily challenges more clearly through this process. Does that make sense? The point is, BLM does not mean Black Lives Need White People’s Help. Maybe someone can make a better sense of this for me.

 

• White men need to eliminate the privilege they’ve been given
  • This isn’t about taking away opportunities afforded to white men, it’s about making sure the same opportunities exist equitably for men of color and women alike.
  • Let us not assume that in order to build up others in our society that we need to cut down the pillar we’re standing on. We need to use this pillar for good. This is about building a truly equal pillar for each and every Black American to stand on right next to us. To do that, we need to start building now. If it means we have to get off our pillar to start building then that’s the kind of sacrifice that I believe takes guts and one we must make. But make no mistake, this is not a game of give and take.

 

• Police lives don’t matter. 
  • This is an important one for me.
    • I believe that Black Lives Matter in the same way that I believe it’s harder to be a police officer today than it has ever been.
    • I believe BLM in the same way that I believe that cops are not the problem, bad cops are the problem and that we do not currently have a system that holds them accountable. I believe that any good cop would agree.
    • I believe BLM in the same way that I fear that any advancement in tactic, technique, or approach for policing will not be derived with the help of the very people upholding the laws (cops) because of the stigma that cops = bad. That could have long-lasting ramifications.
    • I believe BLM in the same way that I think good cops are (and should be) pissed off.
    • I believe BLM in the same way that I believe that good police officers don’t get the respect they deserve.
  • It really bothers me – to my core – that the assumption is Blue or Black and that’s it. As if you can’t, with an intellectual approach to the problem, believe that we have to solve this at both ends.
  • We HAVE to get to a point where cops are not villains, but the system they work in IS the villain. A system that doesn’t allow for accountability – so bad cops keep their jobs. A system that incarcerates people awaiting trial for periods of MONTHS/YEARS – and then asks those same people to respect the authority that placed them there.

 

• All lives don’t matter. 
  • This one is much tougher for me to even wrap my head around. We’ve all heard this described in a number of ways – but a few stick out to me:
    • It’s like asking the fire department to be concerned that your house might catch fire someday while your neighbor’s home is fully engulfed.
    • It’s like asking a shepherd to be concerned with the sheep who didn’t wander from the flock, rather than the one that did. (See Luke 15)
      • I’m not religious, I just find it empowering to know that these things have been around for a long time and the solution is the same. Pursue those hurting. Period.
    • It’s like not helping a friend in need because you might be in need some time in the future.
  • As a society, we have to run hard after the Black community and surround them with listening ears, empathetic hearts, and an intellectual reaction that toes the line of risk-taking for the sake of what’s right.
  • I ALSO believe, as a person who once thought the same thing, that many people who say things like “shouldn’t ALL lives matter?” are approaching the issue with two seemingly opposite influences:
    • Influence 1: Love. I’m talking true, simple, from-your-grandma kind of love. I know that for me, reacting with ALM was so obvious because it was rooted in a real and true desire for everyone to be equal. We all need to remember that love – when pointed in the right direction is the same love we need to solve our issues. We can’t vilify the very kind of love that we need to celebrate. We need to educate and approach those people with the same level of empathy that is necessary to solve the BLM challenges.
      • That’s a little reversal of the empathy card. We can’t assume that because someone reacts in a certain way that they are a card-carrying member of the KKK. The more we, as progressive problem chasers, vilify those who don’t yet understand the pain that lack of effort causes – the further we’ll be from the utopia we seek.
    • Influence 2: Mis-informed Hate. Hate takes so many forms as I am continuing to learn. It’s easy to spot the cape and white hat – but much harder to spot the laissez-faire attitude toward the issues of today. This attitude is one that is often accompanied by misinformation or worse yet in today’s Facebook society – it’s accompanied by a well-meaning distraction.
      • Example: People hate being lied to. As a result, you’ll see lots of people react with “gotcha” content that is meant to avoid the self-reflection that is necessary in these times. It’s as if we think that if we can just prove that a part of the story isn’t true – we won’t have to admit that our beloved country has some work to do.
        • I saw two people react with “news” stories about how the noose that was placed in Bubba Watson’s NASCAR garage was actually either older or was something different entirely. AS IF THAT SHOULD UNDERCUT THE UNREAL AND WHOLLY POSITIVE SHIFT THAT IS HAPPENING WITH THE SPORT. Again, we’re so fired up about being lied to that we can’t see the bigger picture. NASCAR is working to rid itself of hate and things that stand for hate. That’s the point. But alas, we react to the misinformation in a way that is to say “Gotcha – I don’t have to evaluate how we can do better because the thing that you said was bad wasn’t actually that bad this time”.

 

For now, I’ll probably keep listening. Persuing the new truth for myself. Believing that we have to run hard after the challenges we face as a society and that, without a doubt, the disparaging difference between life as a Black person and someone of any other race needs to be solved for with fervor.

I am sure that I’ll reflect more on this and change/add things as this grows. But I’ll leave this hear for now.

Many of us, if not all – have seen this little post floating around the interwebs, especially after the Bern-dog decided he wanted to run for POTUS again.

And let me tell you – it makes me crazy! And probably not for the reason you think (pump the brakes Repubs!)

First of all – I am 100% for the fact that we HAVE to solve the ability to pay for/cost of healthcare in the US AND that it can/should come in the form of federal implementation and will NOT be met by the private sector – especially with the influence of insurers on the policy of our country. People on the right think there is competition in health insurance leading to maintaining/controlling the “low” cost – which is laughable. In the US, we have expensive, middle-of-the-road care (#37 according to the WHO) and we are the leaders in the clubhouse when it comes to diseases that are preventable through lifestyle choices.

Not exactly hitting it out of the park. 

(With that said, we also lead the world in medical research, have more effective, available and timely specialty treatment and have a vibrant experimental drug culture for chronic and deadly ailments. Those are all things that exist here because of our current system that does not exist at the same rate in other countries)

What’s the point, Greg? That you like to type in run-on sentences?

The point is: I absolutely hate that this little post/bullshit is floating around and people are pumped about it because it supports the narrative that healthcare should be “free” or darn near it.

Let me say this – the Scots have a pretty darn decent solution for healthcare in their country with a 100% “free at the point of use” approach and a regionalized approach to care management (meaning that different regions of the country can tailor their spending/administration to the needs of that community). That’s super cool – especially the regional model of management, I dig it.

What’s wrong with this post about the aforementioned Scottish universal healthcare is that it is actually 33% (!!) of the income tax that is spent on healthcare. As per this fancy chart developed by the Scottish gov’ment themselves:

Secondly, your income tax is a percentage of income, not a flat fee (which makes this whole thing a hoodwink). Using the math of this Scottish gentleman (albeit obviously inaccurate), he’d pay about $325 a month in taxes – which means he has an income of approximately $34,900 (we’re going with that – even if his math is fuzzy).

So just a quick review of this particular dude (I am assuming it’s a dude, age 32, non-smoker and not pregnant in these examples):

In the US:

• He’d get $144/month in premium assistance from the gov’t
• He could select a plan with as low a premium as $156/month (after the assistance)
• That plan has a $6,750 deductible.
• In a terrible health year for him – he could spend $8,622 on healthcare in the US!
  • This represents about 25% of his gross income
• In a great health year for him – he could spend as little as $2,300
  • Assumes he only needs preventative care + a couple of simple illnesses and prescriptions
  • This represents about 7% of his income

In Scotland (using the actual math published by the Scottish gov’t, not the fake math):

• He would pay about $3,900 in total income tax
• He would pay about $1,320 in income tax for healthcare – no matter his medical need.
  • This represents about 4% of his income

The point is that Scotland’s healthcare system is obviously better than the US from an individual financial perspective – but also to note that margin is not quite as wide as the post would have you think ($13/month vs $110/month).

None of that really matters – because what matters is that we tackle this healthcare issue with the broader country and our future in mind. The power in a post like this (for those making it) is that people translate Universal Healthcare to “this will make healthcare cheap/free for ME“ when that is not necessarily the case and it certainly shouldn’t be the way in which we make policy decisions — but it sure does strike a cord and drive ‘shares’.

In the Scottish (albeit very basic math) tax setup today, if I did the same math this guy did (only I used the correct percentage of 33%) – my family healthcare cost for 2019 would be nearly $10,000 more in Scotland and that includes the fact that we’re pretty Dr. crazy AND we’re having a baby!

For the sake of clarity – Let’s do the same exercise we did above, but this time we can look at a 32-year old making an upper-middle-class wage of $75,000/year.

In the US:

• He would NOT be eligible for any premium assistance
• He could select a plan with as low a premium as $299/month
• That plan has a $6,750 deductible.
• In a terrible health year for him – he could spend $10,338 on healthcare in the US!
  • This represents about 14% of his gross income
• In a great health year for him – he could spend as little as $4,000
  • Assumes he only needs preventative care + a couple of simple illnesses and prescriptions
  • This represents about 5% of his income

In Scotland (using the actual math published by the Scottish gov’t):

• He would pay about $16,000 in total income tax
• He would pay about $5,280 in income tax for healthcare
  • This represents about 7% of his income

The point is – it’s not free. The scary about this for me is that I fear that we’ll end up with a voting public that is completely misinformed.

The narrative is going to be – “FREE UNIVERSAL HEALTHCARE FOR ALL!” vs. “OBAMACARE CAUSED MY PREMIUMS TO GO UP – WE NEED LESS REGULATION AND MORE COMPETITION!”

Neither of which solves for the issue that was made clear in this small (OK, not small at all) blog post – the math shows you that we have a major issue in the US today when it comes to the cost burden that we’re placing on those Americans making less than the US median income. The fact that a healthy 32-year-old male can spend 25% of their GROSS income on healthcare is an issue that needs to be solved holistically. The notion that the gov’t will act like Oprah and give out healthcare does nothing to get us closer (You get healthcare and you get healthcare!)

We HAVE to solve this and do it very soon – but junk like this floating around can only hurt our chances of coming up with a plan that has a long-term positive effect on our country. This post only serves to incite anger at those that disagree with you and react with fire and fury to anyone who would go against it.

And FWIW, that sort of thing makes up 99% of what is out there today and what gets shared all over social media – It’s either fear the worst of the worst (criminals are coming across the southern border in record numbers!) or creating FOMO of some utopia (All the other Western countries have it better than us – we’re missing out!).

It’s always black or white, never grey. Liberal or Conservative, never America.

All this – to make you do one of two things: Get mad about what you’ve been told and make a snap judgment/angry comment or feel coddled in your opinion because you can now say “See! I told you I was right all along! I know more than you!”

Anyway – one more thing on the list of things that make me wonder what the future really looks like.

See ya.

G

 

Over the past couple of years, there have been a slew (a cornucopia, even) of instances where acts and comments made in youth have affected politicians, celebrities and others negatively as adults.

Here’s the thing with this (and with most things in the US right now) – life, absolutely, isn’t black and white. And to be honest, I thought we all used to know that.

Most people, in a vacuum of reflecting on their own life, would answer that actions of youth and naivety shouldn’t be punishable as an adult who has had the opportunity to learn and grow and find their system of truth. I’d agree with that 100%. For the record, I am not talking about criminal activity or the like. 

The flip side of that is that we are ABSOLUTELY allowed to look at such action and say that action is reprehensible and repulsive, and it can affect our view of a person contemporarily.

So here’s the rub… 

The argument shouldn’t be: That behavior was done while being a kid and just being silly (you little silly goose!).

Quite the contrary; that’s NOT silly and it’s NOT just being a kid (this is especially true in the case of prominent politicians in blackface). Not in 1984 and not today.

And the argument also shouldn’t be that there is NO WAY that he is not still a racist in 2019 if he did that in 1984.

For the record, I thought that smoking clove cigarettes at parties was more ‘Christian’ than actually having a beer – does that mean I’m still a douchebag today? Don’t answer that.  (I fully realize that’s not the same thing, just an illustration of personal review)

So here’s what this means to me: we, as a culture, have COMPLETELY lost the idea of discernment in any way. The idea that a person can grow and mature from the ideals and beliefs of a young person, even so far as to have a totally new set of values in their life is somehow completely lost right now (Or at least I don’t see folks using that approach when judging very, very, very, very quickly the next clearly black or white thing to hit our news feed – just like life, right?)

But anyway, that’s just the thing – those changes and maturities DO happen, and it happens ALL. THE. TIME.

I say all of this not because we should be quick to forgive someone who was blatantly racist in Medical School – but as an illustration of what seems to be happening in all corners of our culture.

Now, we’ve honestly come to a place where party lines are more important than the human race. Party before grace, empathy, patience, and listening. And I’ll tell you before you go there…. there is NO party that stands for any of those.

To be clear: I am not talking about centrism or anything like that – I am talking about looking at a human being, in any form, and seeing them as a human being – capable of, just maybe, adjusting from a belief system you HATE to one that you see as honorable and just. Or capable of showing or receiving grace despite an obvious disposition with your beliefs. This idea isn’t passive, it’s far from it. It’s the most active form of coexistence and community. It’s active because today’s society and the pressures of those who believe similar to you tell you that acknowledging the person behind the opposite message is weak. I say that’s bullshit.

To further add to me being dumbfounded, we celebrate this kind of thing all the time. Christians are passionate about people ‘turning their life around’ with Christ. We celebrate (and watch a lot of reality TV shows) when a young man or woman decides to leave one of the more restrictive religions to find their “freedom” with their new found belief system.

But that guy commenting on that post you read? The Senator? The celeb? No way – scum of the earth – that’s an easy call.

I honestly feel that – influenced by probably 800 things – people react first with “I KNEW it! – This means I am right!” more than any other reaction to external shit right now.

The sad part is that the believed ‘truths’ that are proven correct through constant sound bites and anecdotes, are often very extreme in nature and also leave you feeling “enlightened” because what you thought was right. It’s dangerous. Examples of extremes that make me cringe:

If you voted for Trump, you’re a racist.

"You calling me a racist?" - Your Grandpa

The US should legalize medical marijuana – it has so many benefits!

...except for that's never been proven via actual medical study

Gun ownership is instrumental to the American fabric, it’s not a gun issue!

A tank, just a big car. No reason that shouldn't be road worthy!

So, in this Virginia case, you have to ask yourself – was there anything about this man that made you pause before you were aware of the photo/admission? If not, then I could certainly understand, without an ounce of racism in your heart, feeling that this man has matured from very poor choices as a young man. However, if you already had reason to pause, then this finding becomes a building block in negative opinion of the man. And here’s the craziest part – coming to either conclusion is A-OK  (or, at least, it should be).

And if you’re the kind of person who thinks: “He’s a white man from Virginia! Of COURSE, he’s a racist!”…. Then I hope this little blog post has opened you up a just little bit.

Anywho… I don’t get why it HAS to be yes or no, black or white. That’s not how life works.

One more analogy because I am an old man and I like analogies…

Imagine walking into a library full of the greatest books. Rows and rows and rows of thought-provoking literature waiting for you.

The librarian approaches and says “You looking for a short book or a long book?” To which you reply, confused by the question, “Long, I guess, I am going on vacation and I want to avoid having to talk to people on the airplane, hehe!” She doesn’t laugh.

The cranky old Librarian looks at you flatly and says “Long books are on this side – don’t cross over to the short book side of the library under any circumstances. If you do, don’t think that you’re leaving this building with thoughts from all over the DAMN universe – it’s long or it’s short. It’s simple – don’t screw it up.”

That’s how I feel every single day.

(Societal/party/political pressures are the librarian in the story, for those that are still thinking about which book type that they’d pick)

So, it brings me to my conclusion and an invitation…

Discernment is my word of the year. And I’d like to invite it to be yours, as well. After all, you already stopped going to the gym so let’s just drop the #gethealthy cover and you’ve had the same hair cut since 2008, is it really a #newyearnewyou?

So, what does this mean for me:

I want to have enough patience and grace that I can take in a multitude of information, evaluate empathetically and discern the human element in front of me.

Find the truth vs. be told the ‘truth’

Maybe society will continue to disappoint me, or maybe I’ll find peace in the process because there is still a whole lot more soul left than the R’s and D’s want you to think.

Anyhow – long post,

G

 

BONUS For those who read to the end: Baby Brown #2 is due in May – we just forgot to tell everyone.

 

 

 

Comment #1: Great Post, Good Luck in 2019. Also… TL;DR ya asshole!

I’m not talking about 9 year olds who play video games all day or 12 year olds who are on their second generation of iPhone. I am talking about us – millennials.

I had a buddy from high school recently post a picture of Ronald Reagan in a room (seen below) with the “taliban” with the quote “These gentlemen are the moral equivalent of America’s founding fathers”. His genius hashtag was #truth #knowyourhistory – this was a clear example of how well our generation gets it.

Forget the fact that this was a meeting between the President and the CIA and the Mujahadin Fighters of Afganistan – the crew that was largely responsible for the defeat of the soviet advancements. Forget about the fact that the quote was actually from a completely different time (when Reagan was meeting with the Nigerian Freedom Fighters). Forget the fact that the taliban was not formed in 1983. And forget about the fact that it was Osama Bin Ladin who swooped in to drive this group of action oriented men towards a life of worldly mischief.

That’s all fact – maybe even what you would call “hashtag” truth.

But the bigger fact is that people post this shit. These sorts of things are posted for two reasons:

1. To drive your friends that don’t agree with you crazy because you are proving how awesomely smart you are
2. To make you feel good about how awesomely smart you are because lots of your friends will agree with you

My point: we, as young Americans have a higher calling. Let pursue tomorrow with a vengeance. Let’s see how we can best make this country grow and how we, as humans, can best effect the world around us.

Please, both Dems and Reps – stop tooting your own horn. Your horn sucks.

First off, I don’t think things are terrible. I don’t think that our youth is completely rotten and I don’t think all is lost. However, I DO think that we are really letting lots of kids down.

I think it starts with the kinds of advice we give kids starting early in childhood and on into high school. It’s creating a group of entitled, over-thinking people with heads in the clouds.

Lets look at the three biggest culprits in this unintentional blitz on America’s ability to work hard and enjoy life.

1. Work Smart, Not Hard

This, along with any other propaganda language from universities in the 60’s and 70’s touting that a four-year college, is the only way to succeed in life – RIGHT? Mike Rowe (yeah, the guy from Dirty Jobs and Ford commercials) has made this his soap box topic. He recalls a day in his guidance counselors office, telling her that he had no idea what he wanted to do in life, so he thought that college would be a waste until he knew. So he was headed to a Community College. She was disappointed and pointed to this poster on her wall saying “Do you want to end up like the guy on the right?:

It wasn’t that long ago that blue-collar jobs were praised. We don’t think back to the first half of the 20th century and remember bankers and academics. We remember the iron workers that built our cities, the auto workers that built the American automobile and the farmer who produced the food that fed a growing and pride-filled country. Now, because kids are told by parents and educators alike that they need to go to college to succeed, we have a huge shortage in skilled labor. Machine shops across the country are looking for skilled workers to run their CNC machines – most paying well over $20/hour. A 6 month technical degree from a community or technical college is all you need to get in the door. By the time 40 hits, you could be look at shop foreman – with a salary over $70K. We’ve got gaps in skilled factory jobs (due in some part because unions have made it impossible to fire those workers who are NOT skilled) and all they are looking for is capability, not know-how. The IT industry is suffering from this phenomenon as well – people are just unaware that 1 or 2 certifications, that can be obtained at a technical college, are all it takes to become a network operations engineer – bringing in a comfortable salary with a large IT company. Of course, the IT industry has also suffered from schools and guidance counselors constantly underestimating the expansion of the industry. In the late 90’s and early 2000’s, it was very common for an academic advisor to advise against pursuing anything IT for fear of the market shrinking significantly. Whoops.

I am not saying that college isn’t the right idea – I just think it’s ridiculous that skilled labor jobs are so frowned upon. As it stands, we have too many kids going to college not knowing what they want to do, taking on student loan debt and graduating with a history or psychology degree and having absolutely nothing to show for it. How is that better for the student or for society than waiting or pursuing other avenues?

The other side of this saying is that working hard is no longer a thing to be praised. It’s not cool to work hard. Cool is getting rich quick or having as cushy a job as possible. We are so obsessed with work/life balance that we forego the responsibility that comes with getting a pay check. I see it everyday in the corporate world – no matter where things are with a project, no matter the importance of a deadline and no matter what might have to change down the line in the project – the time to arrive is 8:30 and the time to leave is 5:30. It happens even in advertising, an industry that it notorious for long hours. In my mind, my paycheck comes with a responsibility to get things done. If getting things done means I am here until 4am – I am here until 4am. The sense of entitlement is outrageous. As if the company that is paying us, giving us healthcare and, in my case working in the ad world, giving me perks like company events, Christmas gifts, a shuffleboard table and a constant supply of beerz in the fridge should understand that I have an appointment to get my oil changed right at 5PM (never-mind the fact that the auto shop is open on the weekends and until 7). I am also really intrigued by the idea of how sacrifice in the workplace may just be the key to success – but that’s another post.

Finally, we have equated “working smart” with doing less – which was never the intention. It’s really just all backwards. To me, working smart is about proper prioritization, communicating as clearly as possible with my team and being the guy with the answers. All of this comes from working hard first.

My alternative advice: Work hard in order to work smart.

2. You can be anything you want to be if you try your hardest 

So this is piggy-backing off of my initial thought, but it’s an issue just the same.

The fact is, if you are not tall you won’t be an NFL tight end. If you are not a steady-handed quick-learner you will not be a surgeon. If you are not good with numbers, then accounting is not your jam. It doesn’t matter how bad you want it or how hard you work to get there. It’s not going to happen. Sorry, kid.

The good news is, there is a better way. I think when looking out into the career/adult world, you have to ask yourself what are the things that would make you content in a job? What traits and talents do you have that would be best served in a particular position?

This isn’t about not pursuing dreams and it’s not about doing what you want. But it IS about looking at life as a whole. 10 years ago, I thought I might want to go to law school or maybe become an architect – I really didn’t know. I will tell you what I didn’t think – not with an ounce of my brain – that I would be working in Advertising in Cincinnati. But I tell you what, it worked out perfectly.

And the reason why it’s perfect is because I found a vocation that takes advantage of the things I do well, avoids the things I am terrible at (sort of, still working on my timeliness and my personal prioritization).

That allows me to feel good about my job as a whole – even though it’s not what wish I was doing (which is working at a nice golf course as the starter and playing golf every day). The fact is, my enjoyment comes the things that are outside of my vocation. I love my wife, my dog, Oklahoma State athletics and drinking a nice beer (or a not so nice beer, just beer really). There are also things I love about my job, for instance, my coworkers are some of my closest friends (a blog post for later).

My Alternative Advice: Working hard won’t change who you are (you’re still a 5’4″extrovert with punctuality problems and lack of ability to leave an argument early)  – but working hard because of who you are is capable of making  you supremely content and satisfied. Take pride in your personal strengths and pursue a way to exploit them.

3. Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life!

Classic, right? But totally dumb if you think about. Some bleeding-heart liberal wanted to make everyone feel really, really good at the same time covering up the sadness associated with whatever shortcomings were associated with what they did for a job.

This really is an easy one to debunk: ask any entrepreneur – doing what you love is definitely work. The pastry chef that shows up at 4am everyday to make that day’s round of breakfast morsels loves doing the baking – but hates the fact that baking means being up a 4am dealing with inventory management and invoicing each month. Much like I tried to state above – you WILL be taking the good with the bad, the question is – where do you get the good?

I do believe that people get into jobs (especially entrepreneurs) because they love them – and I believe that they benefit from doing that every day. I do NOT believe that they are supremely satisfied with the job. In the end, it’s still a job.

Bringing this back to the youngsters – many entrepreneurs are people who did something else first and did not find satisfaction. You could say that is because they were doing something they hated (or something that they didn’t love) – but I would argue they were doing something that did not take advantage of who they were (see above).  I would also argue that, in my person circles, most entrepreneurs take learnings from other jobs and experiences and bring them into the startup.

For me – its about end, not the means. If I thought a golf course starter position could give the kind of life I want for myself and my family, then I would do it. But I am not going to do it and pretend like I will somehow be more happy because my job is less miserable while the rest of my life is more miserable.

My Alternative Advice: Find what you love & pursue a vocation that will help you get more of it. Be it time at home, yellow cars, opportunities to cook or interaction with new people. Don’t let the fact that you enjoy something blind you to the challenges that may come.

FINALLY: For the record, I think people should take chances and become entrepreneurs – especially if they think they have what it takes to make it work (I did). I think people should go to school and study something that they enjoy (I did). I think that pursuing a History degree is valuable, if you plan to use it.

Kids need more simple truth and less feel-good crap. They need more understanding that personal happiness and value come from a number of places in life. Choosing/falling into/finding the job/career that is not the one you want does not have to mean your life lacks something grand.